Watch Out Sydney, I'm Heading "Home"!

In just a few hours I'll be heading home to Sydney for six weeks. As an expat and traveler one of the hardest travel decisions I've had to make is spending money and more importantly valuable vacation days, to go back "home". For four years I have made plans to visit Sydney then postponed them, frustrating my friends and family by opting to go on more exciting adventures to places I have craved to see, to places I have never been before, places that add to my goal of seeing every country in the world.

But four years is a long time to be away from the people you love and the place you spent most your life. And I am excited to see all my family and friends, especially the ones I haven't seen in years, I am excited to revisit all my favorite hang outs and restaurants, to try new restaurants, to swim in Sydney's beautiful beaches and I'm excited to see the city from a new perspective.

And yet I'm also anxious about seeing the city from a new perspective. I never liked living in Sydney, dealing with racism on an almost daily basis made me bitter, never fitting in made me seek out new places to live. But leading up to the visit I find myself asking the same questions, will I like it more now? After all my experiences and travels I am far more self assured, or will I find I have outgrown it even more? Especially after adopting a European lifestyle and attitude so thoroughly?

Reading and listening to other expat stories I have noticed their experiences are the same, expats find them selves disillusioned when back home, and how can you not? after months/years of experiences of seeing and trying new things, going back home must surely be one huge anticlimax.

It's going to be an interesting six weeks, and it's going to be fun (and quite possibly frustrating) trying to get answers to my questions and uncovering more about where it is in the world I really fit in and want to be, it's such an exotic problem to solve, and the reality is that I love that these are the questions I'm trying to find answers to, it's pretty great to be a traveler and expat.

Holy Culture Shock, Batman!

There are two questions I've been asked a lot lately; 

"Why did you leave Portugal?" and "What made you move back to Amsterdam?"

There is not one simple answer to these questions, living in Portugal for a year was an incredible experience full of ups and downs, it taught me many things especially things about myself, it gave me a thicker skin when it came to certain social situations, it gave me the opportunity to experience the frustrations and joys of a completely a different type of lifestyle and culture, and to wake up every morning to a gorgeous sunrise over the sea, none of this will be forgotten but what stands out the most is Culture shock and just how real it actually is.

cul·ture shock

Noun
The feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes.

Experiencing this came as a surprise because after living in several countries and traveling extensively I not only (very naively) believed it was something that I was immune to - me? culture shock? Yea right, I'm super cosmopolitan girl! but a part of me also believed it only happened to a select group of people who enjoyed a little whinge every now and then, people who like to compare everything to their home country, people who never really appreciated or wanted to give any other way of life a chance. But I realized culture shock is more than an attitude problem and it can hit you no matter how much of a seasoned traveler or how open minded you are. And culture shock hit me hard, I vividly remember the sunny summer afternoon I decided to read a little about it and found myself ticking off every single symptom, suddenly everything made sense; the constant judging and stereotyping of the locals, the complete and utter preoccupation with my health, the feelings of loneliness, powerlessness, the constant feeling that I was being cheated, overlooked, looked down on.

Things began to look up after this realization and some powerful advice from my husband;

"Whenever you're frustrated about something, rather than judge people, think about and ask yourself why they might do things that way"

The culture shock eventually eased away and I have been left with a longing to understand, explore, see, taste and experience more of this amazing country, but as far as living goes Amsterdam is where we belong in this stage of our lives, Portugal was an awesome, crazy ride for a year but it feels good to be back in lovely Amsterdam. 

Finding Social Mecca - And Then Moving On

This week we packed all our favorite things in a handful of boxes, and a little moving company came to take it all away. That's right folks, we're moving on from Amsterdam. 

As a Sydneysider targeted by the cities social incompetence I’d daydream about moving and living around the world, always finding a new exciting place to explore and if I was lucky enough, to call home. In the most exasperating times I swore I would never go back as I imagined myself in some rural part of Hawaii living it up with the locals (that turns out only existed in my mind, but that’s another story).

But as it did turn out, it was Amsterdam with its socially forward thinking, beautiful in its old town charm and lively yet relaxed in its atmosphere that gave me everything I was looking for. Amsterdam revolves around pleasant social gatherings. The Dutch have a word for this; “Gezellig” and there is no direct translation for it, the closest I could come to describing it is “cozy” but even that doesn’t really capture the feeling of Gezellig. Gezellig is enjoying the company of good friends over food and wine, it is sitting by a lake in the sunshine with your partner chit chatting as you watch the boats go by, it is sitting on the back of your partner’s or friends’ bike with your arms around their waist as you ride back home from the theatre. When you experience it you’ve essentially hit social Mecca.

And in the last few months, it was exactly this that had me asking the questions; is moving away the right choice? Will I find this in my next home? Why am I leaving the friends I love so much? Why am I leaving this amazing community I built for myself? Am I crazy? Spoilt? or just stupid?

But, there is one solid reason why I’m leaving Amsterdam, the lack of being close to nature and beaches that are so fundamental to my happiness, without them I feel lost and find it difficult to picture myself living a fulfilled, happy life in any place.

So our adventure in Amsterdam may be over, but the adventure itself continues. Lisboa let’s see what you have to offer!

One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.' - Henry Miller

Traveling gives you life experience and perspective that you can not gain through anything else, it takes your reality and warps it. Traveling makes you realise just how little you know but at the same time shows you a side of yourself you probably never knew was there at all.

My adventures are really only just beginning but these are the valuable lessons I have already learnt -

To be self sufficient

Nothing teaches you to rely on yourself and to solve problems on your own more than an a simple language barrier, theft or injury when you're 10,000 miles from everything and everyone you've ever known.

When I moved to Canada for a study abroad semester I decided that I was going to go check out New York city before starting classes. When I checked the bus timetable I realised I had an hour to pack my stuff and get my ticket before the last bus left. I quickly reserved a bed in a hostel online, packed some things and literally dashed out the door. I hadn't had time to check my reservation and 15hrs later when I arrived into New York city the hostel receptionist told me they didn't get my reservation and they had no rooms left anyway. It was my first real trip alone and I was petrafied, I realised I was alone in New York city with no bed and no where to go. After hours of walking and researching I managed to find another hostel and scored myself a bed for the next few nights. Of course it seems like nothing now and put me in the same situation again and I probably wont flinch at all (unless maybe you add a language barrier in there?).

That year on my return home from my semester abroad I strolled through my studies, I felt completely empowered, I relied solely on myself and confidently stood by my judgements, it was the first time I knew I didn't need my fellow students.

To be more tolerant & understanding

When you travel you always see different customs and traditions and what you think is normal back home is not always normal in another place.

My fiance and I once had yum cha in Hong Kong's oldest tea house, our waiter brought us a pot of tea and some tea cups, we eagerly poured our tea into our cups and just when we were about to drink it the old Chinese couple sitting at our tabled said "no no no!" and stopped us before we could take a sip, some people at other tables looked at us in shock, our waiter came rushing back and swished hot tea all over our tea cups. Apparently the custom there was to sterilise your tea cup in boiling tea before using it. We must have looked like filthy Westerners to the people who noticed. The old Chinese couple on our table smiled and then suggested some good yum cha for us to try.

But beneath all these traditions and customs you see that people still crave the same things as you and everyone else; love, friendship, acceptance, safety etc etc. You learn that deep down most people are good and try to do the right thing, most work hard and love their families just like you. When you travel you begin to understand that everyone reacts differently under different circumstances based on their own past experiences, customs and traditions. When you understand this you will lose your fears and assumptions and become more tolerant and easy going.

That traveling changes your point of view

When you're out seeing how things are done somewhere else it's hard to not change your view.

In Australia it's considered normal to smack your child (that is a light smack that does not strike the face i.e a smack on the hand or on the bum) I never believed a light smack and a stern 'no' was wrong and although I swore I would never use this punishment on my children it didn't bother me when I saw other parents use it. After visiting Norway where smacking your child is just not accepted and seeing how children still behaved in the same way or even better, my tolerance for smacking or yelling at children went straight to zero.

To be patient

Patience is something you learn well when you're stuck at the airport for 7hrs because your flight is delayed or your travel agent couldn't get you an earlier connecting flight. Anyone in this situation has probably realised that fighting it is pointless. After these experiences the 5 minute wait for your train ticket back home becomes nothing and when the stressed out person behind you starts huffing and puffing you can smile because you know it's really not a big deal at all.

That you can do more than you think

When you're traveling you not only surprise yourself with how self sufficient, tolerant and patient you can be but also how you can do things you never believed you could do. I remember parasailing at 600ft in New Zealand, not such a big deal except that I am terrified of heights but before I could remember this fact it was too late, I was strapped in and ready to go (it just looked so exciting from the ground!). I remember turning to my boyfriend at the time and saying in a panic "I'm afraid of heights, I'm afraid of heights!" and he replied "Why the hell are you telling me that now?!".

Traveling makes you take chances, when you're in the arctic you realise that this is one of the few places in the world where you will ever see the inside of a glacier, this makes you get up at 5am, dog sledge through the wilderness all the way up to a hole in the ground where you bite your teeth together and ignore the claustrophobia that screams at you as you crawl into a cave entrance on your belly.

Whether the chances are big or small makes no difference, I once met 2 girls in Byron Bay who were terrified of sky diving but did it anyway to see the beauty of the place from the sky another time I witnessed a traveler warily try chicken feet. These people all challenged themselves and did things they did not think they would ever do.

Traveling for me has been a tool for personal growth. How have you changed or what have you learnt from your travels?